France, the beginning

“The further you get away from yourself, the more challenging it is. Not to be in your comfort zone is great fun.” – Benedict Cumberbatch

As I think about our upcoming trip to la Bretagne, I can’t help but to be reminded of where this journey – the journey to living overseas – started. How a trip to France decades ago would alter the course of my life. And, most importantly, how stepping out (way out) of my comfort zone was an essential part of making this dream a reality.

The first time I traveled to France I was 11 and in all honesty, it wasn’t my favorite place. My dad was going on a business trip and decided to take my mom, my sister, and me along. We visited London, Paris, and a little town outside of Zurich over the course of three weeks. Being 11, I wasn’t used to anything too far out of my comfort zone and my zone didn’t extend past our tiny Midwestern town, our farm animals, my friends, and my family.

While we had been to proper cities before, I had not experienced a place where people spoke a different language, where the signs and menus were written in words (and even letters!) unfamiliar. To boot, people on the streets weren’t even speaking the same language! It seemed like there were countless languages being spoken, especially in London and Paris. And people were dressed differently there too. People dressed in all black, in fancy clothes, and some people even had magenta-colored hair. To me, at that time, it was quite shocking. Worst of all, no matter where we went, my 11-year old self didn’t see macaroni and cheese or plain spaghetti on any of the menus. What was going on and where had my father taken us?!

No, London and Paris were not my favorite. The Tower of London was dark, cold, and really creepy. Both cities seemed loud and more than a little dirty. I was used to the farm where things were full of hay and… well, animal “stuff”, but this was different. I remember liking Westminster Abbey and the Crown Jewels in London and I thoroughly enjoyed the Louvre and the beautiful gardens in Paris. So, yes, maybe there were some interesting things to see and do but I could never imagine living there … or so I thought.

If you asked me then, I would have told you the best place in the whole world (outside of our farm) was Switzerland. I can remember being in complete awe of the mountains. And, just like home, there were cows everywhere! But these cows had bells around their gorgeous brown necks. (I remember thinking that maybe our cows needed bells too.) And the flowers! Flowers everywhere, it seemed. Flowers hanging over window boxes, rows of flowers in the cemeteries, flowers spilling out of the shops. And the chocolate…WOW! I was not too young to appreciate how amazing that chocolate was! And the people were really nice, especially to us children. They smiled a lot and just made us feel all warm and fuzzy inside. The food wasn’t just like we had at home, but it was close enough. And while Switzerland was, obviously, a different country, there were so many similarities to my home town that I didn’t really feel too far out of my comfort zone. And being in your comfort zone feels good.

As I said, I didn’t feel the same about Paris. If I’m being honest, I felt like I was on the moon in Paris. What do you mean that restaurants were closed in the afternoon when you wanted a hot chocolate? Where were all of the breakfast places? At home we could go to Denny’s and get a big breakfast with pancakes and eggs and hash browns. Actually, you could get breakfast ALL DAY LONG if you wanted to (and who doesn’t want breakfast for dinner sometimes?). Why didn’t people smile at you on the street or say “hello” back? And why were they walking so fast? Where was everyone going in such a hurry? And, what I couldn’t believe, was all the kissing. Couples were smooching on benches by the Eiffel Tower, they were kissing on the terrace of the corner café, but even worse, people greeted each other with kisses instead of shaking hands. What was that about? This was just way too much for my 11-year old self.

Nope, I didn’t get it. At all. But when I got home and people started asking me questions about the trip, I realized that I had had a good time. I got to see snow-covered mountains and walk along the Seine, I got to see ancient Egyptian mummies and real castles. And once I had gotten past the idea of there not being an all-day breakfast joint, I found that eating freshly baked croissants from the corner boulangerie to be a pretty good way to start the day.

Did I feel overwhelmed on that trip? Yes! Did I want to go home sometimes? Absolutely! Did I miss the comforts of home? Yes, I sure did. After all, as a young girl, the “comforts” of home were all I knew. But when I thought about it more, hearing different languages spoken on the streets had been pretty cool. And while I didn’t understand why people were doing some of the things they were doing, they seemed pretty darn happy doing them. It was then that I realized that my parents pulled a fast one. They didn’t just take us on a trip to see castles and cows, mountains and museums. In reality, our parents were teaching us that while we may not fully understand cultural differences, and we may not agree with what we see and hear, we still need to respect others’ beliefs and customs. Further, if we keep an open mind, we may just end up appreciating their way of life. It is, without a doubt, the most important lesson that I’ve learned in my 50ish years.

So, how did I end up falling in love with France? It started with a French class that I took in high school.  A few weeks into it, I realized that I had finally found a subject that I was interested in. To my surprise, I was even good at it! When we started learning about French culture, I finally began to understand the things that confused (ok, frustrated) me about France and the French. For example, I realized that shops were closed between 12 and 2 p.m. because people were taking proper lunch breaks. They were actually sitting down for an hour (or more!) and eating lunch. Together. They weren’t going through a drive-through and eating in under 15 minutes, they were actually sitting down and eating slowly, chatting with friends, family, or colleagues, savoring the food and enjoying the company. Restaurants were closed in the afternoon because the French eat at specific times during the day as that is healthier for the body to do so. People very rarely snack between meals, so there is no need for restaurants to be open in the afternoon. Tradition and routine are very important to the French and it is something that they take to heart.

In college, I was intrigued by the idea of a study abroad in Paris. I had studied the language and the culture, but could I really live in Paris for a few months? I had been there before, but it had been years and I didn’t know anyone. What if I didn’t like it? What if I got lost? What if, what if, what if. I had almost talked myself out of it, but then I realized that yes, I might not like it. Or, I may love it. I have no sense of direction so yes; it would be safe to assume I would get lost. So maybe I stop someone and ask for directions? Most importantly, I realized that the worst thing to happen wouldn’t be that I didn’t like it, it would be that I not go and regret it for years to come.

So, I went. And you know what? I loved it. I lived with an older French woman and two other students from Germany. I learned so much from my host and will be forever grateful for her generosity. Was it hard? Yes. Did I get overwhelmed? Yes. Did I get lost? Yep. Did I also learn a LOT about myself and what I could do on my own? Oh yes! Would I do it again? Absolutely. Learning about new forms of transportation (the Metro, for example), different food, seeing incredible works of art and architecture, immersing yourself in a new culture, etc. opens your mind and heart in ways you don’t expect. It was that time living and studying in Paris that would lead to a lifetime of yearning to be in France full-time. Decades and many subsequent trips later, that desire to relocate is turning into reality. While I haven’t moved yet, I am slowly but surely establishing myself and working tirelessly to get there.

What I have also come to know and appreciate after years of traveling to France is that while people may seem reserved at first, they are some of the warmest people I’ve ever met. I’ve come to appreciate the rhythm they live by, from their set times of eating meals to buying local food in season. I’ve learned that while they are passionate about their country it is the region of their birth that holds a special place in their heart. And now, having discovered Brittany, la Bretagne, I get it. There is, after all, that place for all of us. Maybe it is a cabin in Northern Michigan. Maybe it is the desert in Arizona. Maybe it’s a little town in England. For me, it is Brittany.

No matter where your journey takes you, I hope to provide you with some tips that will help make travel less overwhelming. For me personally, I find that doing a LOT of research before a trip makes everything much easier. This takes weeks of time, but the time spent is worth it as I feel less overwhelmed and more relaxed during a trip. And lucky for you, you don’t have to do the research because I’ve already done that for you. I’m hoping to provide you with the tools you need to travel confidently to this wonderful region of France but if you simply want to follow the blog from your comfy couch, that’s ok too! You do you. Maybe you get out of your comfort zone in a different way.

The best piece of advice I can give anyone is to push past their comfort zone. Had I not done that through my study abroad I would not be writing a blog about life in Brittany. I would not have met the incredible people along the way who have shaped me into the person I am today. Moving out of our comfort zone and into that “fear” zone, addressing what’s holding us back, isn’t always fun. But, after we get through it, we move into a new zone, a learning zone, and it is that place that holds some real magic.

Please leave me a comment and let me know what you thought of this article. I would love to hear your feedback.

Take good care,

Amy, from Tales from Brittany